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More - Robert Orben Quotes

I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself. - Robert Orben Quotes

I got a Valentine's Day card from my girl. It said, 'Take my heart! Take my arms! Take my lips!' Which is just like her. Keeping the best part for herself.

American Entertainer Quotes

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all. - Robert Orben Quotes

There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.

American Entertainer Quotes

A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in. - Robert Orben Quotes

A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.

American Entertainer Quotes

Never raise your hand to your children ÃÂ° it leaves your midsection unprotected - Robert Orben Quotes

Never raise your hand to your children ÃÂ° it leaves your midsection unprotected

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian. - Robert Orben Quotes

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

American Entertainer Quotes

Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down. - Robert Orben Quotes

Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.

American Entertainer Quotes Editor's Pick Funny Quote of the Day

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards. - Robert Orben Quotes

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards.

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A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success. - Robert Orben Quotes

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that 'individuality' is the key to success.

American Entertainer Quotes Editor's Pick Funny Quote of the Day

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. - Robert Orben Quotes

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work.

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh. - Robert Orben Quotes

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.

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