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More - Dave Berry Quotes

You can say any foolish thing to do to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!' - Dave Berry Quotes

You can say any foolish thing to do to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base. - Dave Berry Quotes

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base.

We would love to be able to help the high-school kids out and make a nice donation for down there, - Dave Berry Quotes

We would love to be able to help the high-school kids out and make a nice donation for down there,

Fads end eventually and value suddenly mattered again. The bank group outperformed the broad market in third, fourth and first quarter of this year. - Dave Berry Quotes

Fads end eventually and value suddenly mattered again. The bank group outperformed the broad market in third, fourth and first quarter of this year.

We made a mistake. It's as simple as that, - Dave Berry Quotes

We made a mistake. It's as simple as that,

And as Americans, we must ask ourselves: Are we really so different? Must we stereotype those who disagree with us? Do we truly believe that ALL red-state residents are ignorant racist fascist knuckle-dragging NASCAR-obsessed cousin-marrying road-kill-eating tobacco-juice-dribbling gun-fondling religious fanatic rednecks; or that ALL blue-state residents are godless unpatriotic pierced-nose Volvo-driving France-loving left-wing Communist latte-sucking tofu-chomping holistic-wacko neurotic vegan weenie perverts? Yes. This is called

And as Americans, we must ask ourselves: Are we really so different? Must we stereotype those who disagree with us? Do we truly believe that ALL red-state residents are ignorant racist fascist knuckle-dragging NASCAR-obsessed cousin-marrying road-kill-eating tobacco-juice-dribbling gun-fondling religious fanatic rednecks; or that ALL blue-state residents are godless unpatriotic pierced-nose Volvo-driving France-loving left-wing Communist latte-sucking tofu-chomping holistic-wacko neurotic vegan weenie perverts? Yes. This is called "diversity," and it is why we are such a great nation - a nation that has given the world both nuclear weapons AND SpongeBob SquarePants.And so today I am calling upon both sides in the red-blue rift to reach out. Maybe we could have a cultural-exchange program between red and blue states. For example, a delegation from Texas could go to California and show the Californians how to do some traditional Texas thing such as castrate a bull using only your teeth, and then the Californians could show the Texans how to rearrange their football stadiums in accordance with the principles of "feng shui" (for openers, both goalposts should be at the west end of the field). Or maybe New York and Kentucky could have a college-style "mixer," featuring special "crossover" hors d'oeuvres, such as bagels topped with squirrel parts.

[Early last year, banks were out of favor and then rebounded when the biotech and technology sectors crashed in first quarter 2000.] Fads end eventually and value suddenly mattered again, ... The bank group outperformed the broad market in third, fourth and first quarter of this year. - Dave Berry Quotes

[Early last year, banks were out of favor and then rebounded when the biotech and technology sectors crashed in first quarter 2000.] Fads end eventually and value suddenly mattered again, ... The bank group outperformed the broad market in third, fourth and first quarter of this year.

Banks

Swift is hiring, and if there are qualified drivers, we will get them employed right away. They may want to get home and see if they can drive for the company they worked for before. . . . If they meet our qualifications, we will hire them. - Dave Berry Quotes

Swift is hiring, and if there are qualified drivers, we will get them employed right away. They may want to get home and see if they can drive for the company they worked for before. . . . If they meet our qualifications, we will hire them.

And as Americans, we must ask ourselves: Are we really so different? Must we stereotype those who disagree with us? Do we truly believe that ALL red-state residents are ignorant racist fascist knuckle-dragging NASCAR-obsessed cousin-marrying road-kill-eating tobacco-juice-dribbling gun-fondling religious fanatic rednecks; or that ALL blue-state residents are godless unpatriotic pierced-nose Volvo-driving France-loving left-wing Communist latte-sucking tofu-chomping holistic-wacko neurotic vegan weenie perverts? Yes. This is called

And as Americans, we must ask ourselves: Are we really so different? Must we stereotype those who disagree with us? Do we truly believe that ALL red-state residents are ignorant racist fascist knuckle-dragging NASCAR-obsessed cousin-marrying road-kill-eating tobacco-juice-dribbling gun-fondling religious fanatic rednecks; or that ALL blue-state residents are godless unpatriotic pierced-nose Volvo-driving France-loving left-wing Communist latte-sucking tofu-chomping holistic-wacko neurotic vegan weenie perverts? Yes. This is called "diversity," and it is why we are such a great nation - a nation that has given the world both nuclear weapons AND SpongeBob SquarePants. And so today I am calling upon both sides in the red-blue rift to reach out. Maybe we could have a cultural-exchange program between red and blue states. For example, a delegation from Texas could go to California and show the Californians how to do some traditional Texas thing such as castrate a bull using only your teeth, and then the Californians could show the Texans how to rearrange their football stadiums in accordance with the principles of "feng shui" (for openers, both goalposts should be at the west end of the field). Or maybe New York and Kentucky could have a college-style "mixer," featuring special "crossover" hors d'oeuvres, such as bagels topped with squirrel parts.

Funny

It's a good rumor, but it's just that, a rumor. - Dave Berry Quotes

It's a good rumor, but it's just that, a rumor.

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