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More - Dave Attell Quotes

You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike. - Dave Attell Quotes

You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations. Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.

American Comedian Funny

There's a late-night scene in every town, and everyone has something going on, ... I've heard good stories about (Syracuse); this is a very good party town, a good drinking place. I definitely would like to come back and check it out further. Do some more research, as I call it. - Dave Attell Quotes

There's a late-night scene in every town, and everyone has something going on, ... I've heard good stories about (Syracuse); this is a very good party town, a good drinking place. I definitely would like to come back and check it out further. Do some more research, as I call it.

Every eight minutes, someone has sex with an animal...and you wonder why the attack you. Because of that man, and its up to me and a half mexican to stop him! - Dave Attell Quotes

Every eight minutes, someone has sex with an animal...and you wonder why the attack you. Because of that man, and its up to me and a half mexican to stop him!

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish, ... You know what you should do? Combine them ... eat a penguin. - Dave Attell Quotes

What's the two things they tell you are healthiest to eat? Chicken and fish, ... You know what you should do? Combine them ... eat a penguin.

Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick. - Dave Attell Quotes

Doesn't matter what you say or do; people can always find a way to call you a dick.

American Comedian Funny

Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people

Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people ""the cops."" But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!

Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people

Yeah, I know, some people are against drunk driving, and I call those people "the cops." But you know, sometimes, you've just got no choice; those kids gotta get to school!

American Comedian Funny

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