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More - Elayne Boosler Quotes

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking. - Elayne Boosler Quotes

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.

American Comedian Country Funny Quote of the Day

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three. - Elayne Boosler Quotes

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

American Comedian Funny Quote of the Day

We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, 'You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.' - Elayne Boosler Quotes

We have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, 'You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.'

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born. - Elayne Boosler Quotes

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.

American Comedian Funny Mothers

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot - Elayne Boosler Quotes

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me. - Elayne Boosler Quotes

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's wrong with me.

American Comedian Funny People

Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers? - Elayne Boosler Quotes

Wouldn't it be great if you could only get AIDS by giving money to television preachers?

American Comedian Funny Giving

I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body. - Elayne Boosler Quotes

I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.

American Comedian Body Funny

My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions - Elayne Boosler Quotes

My ancestors wandered lost in the wilderness for forty years because even in biblical times, men would not stop to ask for directions

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix? - Elayne Boosler Quotes

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

American Comedian Funny

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