More - Tina Fey Quotes

Saudi Arabian police arrested seven teenage boys for leering at women. In accordance with Saudi law, the boys will be whipped and the women will be stoned to death.

Tina Fey

 Boys

In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I'm sorry, did I say "scientists"? I meant "Irish people."

Tina Fey

 

An interim government was set up in Afghanistan. It included two women, one of whom was Minister of Women's Affairs. Man, who'd she have to show here ankles to to get that job?

Tina Fey

 Afghanistan American Comedian Funny

The New York Post quoted Senator Hillary Clinton saying that she would never run for President, declaring "That is not something I'm going to be doing. "Which in Clinton talk means "I will be President in three years."

Tina Fey

 

Yeah, it's tough being smart and sexy, too. I have to say, I'm really not that attractive. Until I met my husband, I could not get a date. I promise you it's true. My husband Jeff Richmond saw a diamond in the rough and took me in.

Tina Fey

 American Comedian Funny

Researches reported that they developed a "self-healing" plastic that repairs itself if cracked. The plastic will change the way airplanes are built and medicine is practiced. In a related story, Joan Rivers will never die.

Tina Fey

 

At the request of the Catholic Church, a three-day sex orgy to be held near Rio de Janeiro was cancelled last Friday. So instead I spent the weekend cleaning my apartment.

Tina Fey

 

I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math.

Tina Fey

 Jokes

I was a mostly happy child, though I had a pretty rough puberty. Growing up as a girl is always traumatizing, especially when you have the deadly combination of greasy skin and getting your boobs at ten. But I think it's good to grow up that way. It builds character.

Tina Fey

 Growing Up

A Harvard Medical School study has determined that rectal thermometers are still the best way to tell a baby's temperature. Plus, it really teaches the baby who's boss.

Tina Fey

 American Comedian Funny School