Look at the divorce rate. In fact, it's women over 40 who are driving the divorce rate. That's the only place where the divorce rate is going up. What I hear from our readers is that women, until their 40s, are with men who are about their age, and they're really on the trajectory of feeling ever more confident and more adventurous, and the guys become more and more in that rut you were talking about. Somebody said to me once: Find a guy in a rut, and he'll lie down in it. Peggy Northrop