Do you remember that politician who died with the fishnet tights and all that? Aw, his poor family. I wonder how they dress him in the coffin? - Billy Connolly Quotes
Do you remember that politician who died with the fishnet tights and all that? Aw, his poor family. I wonder how they dress him in the coffin? Billy Connolly
 

More - Billy Connolly Quotes

I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless. - Billy Connolly Quotes

I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.

Billy Connolly

 Funny Scottish Comedian
Roses are red,Violets are blue,I'm a schizophrenic,and so am I. - Billy Connolly Quotes

Roses are red,Violets are blue,I'm a schizophrenic,and so am I.

Billy Connolly

 
“So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?” - Billy Connolly Quotes

“So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?”

Billy Connolly

 Disco
It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things. - Billy Connolly Quotes

It seems to me that Islam and Christianity and Judaism all have the same god, and he's telling them all different things.

Billy Connolly

 Christianity Funny Scottish Comedian
The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards. - Billy Connolly Quotes

The great thing about Glasgow is that if there's a nuclear attack it'll look exactly the same afterwards.

Billy Connolly

 Funny Scottish Comedian
Ally MacLeod thinks that tactics are a new kind of mint. - Billy Connolly Quotes

Ally MacLeod thinks that tactics are a new kind of mint.

Billy Connolly

 Funny Scottish Comedian
There's nothing like it, but it's not as good as you think it's going to be. . . . I was disappointed because there are records of people finding things that have been there for years. I was hoping for a shirt button, or my club's badge -- but not a sausage. - Billy Connolly Quotes

There's nothing like it, but it's not as good as you think it's going to be. . . . I was disappointed because there are records of people finding things that have been there for years. I was hoping for a shirt button, or my club's badge -- but not a sausage.

Billy Connolly

 
I think that you'll find that Billy Connolly is British. - Billy Connolly Quotes

I think that you'll find that Billy Connolly is British.

Billy Connolly

 
I'm famous for my bottom dances, but you'll only see my bum and willy if you raise a million pounds within an hour. - Billy Connolly Quotes

I'm famous for my bottom dances, but you'll only see my bum and willy if you raise a million pounds within an hour.

Billy Connolly

 
If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name? - Billy Connolly Quotes

If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?

Billy Connolly

 Funny Scottish Comedian
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