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More - Rita Rudner Quotes

Men hate to lose. I beat my husband once at tennis. I asked him,

Men hate to lose. I beat my husband once at tennis. I asked him, "Will we ever make love again?" He said, "Yes.... but not with each other."

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was - Rita Rudner Quotes

It wasn't that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times. - Rita Rudner Quotes

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.

American Comedian Confession Funny Love Quote of the Day Valentine's Day

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet. - Rita Rudner Quotes

We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.

American Comedian Funny

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso. - Rita Rudner Quotes

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.

American Comedian Funny Office

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. - Rita Rudner Quotes

I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

American Comedian Funny Quote of the Day

I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine. - Rita Rudner Quotes

I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.

American Comedian Ballet Funny

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. - Rita Rudner Quotes

My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.

American Comedian Boyfriend Funny

They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one. - Rita Rudner Quotes

They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it's very busy, when they have one.

American Comedian Funny

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down. - Rita Rudner Quotes

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

American Comedian Funny

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