【QUOTES DIRECTORY】 【QUOTES DIRECTORY】

More - Stephen Wright Quotes

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? - Stephen Wright Quotes

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

American Comedian Coffee Funny

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction. - Stephen Wright Quotes

When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.

American Comedian Body Funny

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said,

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, "Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours." He said, "Yes, but not in a row."

Funny Quote of the Day

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot. - Stephen Wright Quotes

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

American Comedian Fishing Funny

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it? - Stephen Wright Quotes

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Cats Editor's Pick Funny Quote of the Day

I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it. - Stephen Wright Quotes

I bought some instant water one time but I didn't know what to add to it.

American Comedian Funny

I saw a bank that said

I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking", but I don't have that much time

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world. - Stephen Wright Quotes

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My dreams were showing up on TV's all over the world.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded - Stephen Wright Quotes

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded

Cute Editor's Pick Funny Quote of the Day Short

I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out. - Stephen Wright Quotes

I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when suddenly the prescription ran out.

American Comedian Funny

Click To See More Quotes

Quotes By Popular Topics

View All Topics (A - Z)

Like Our Facebook Page

Motivational, Inspirational, Funny Quotes