More - Robin Williams Quotes

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

Robin Williams

 American Comedian Funny

In England, if you commit a crime, the police don't have a gun and you don't have a gun. If you commit a crime, the police will say "Stop, or I'll say stop again."

Robin Williams

 Comedy

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

Robin Williams

 Comedy

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

Robin Williams

 American Comedian Funny Madness Quote of the Day

Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

Robin Williams

 American Comedian Drugs Funny

We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.

Robin Williams

 American Comedian Comedy Funny Quote of the Day

What is a stealth bomber? It's a bomber that doesn't show up on radar, and you can't see it. Then we don't need one.

Robin Williams

 

There are so many beautiful parts of the world . . . Thailand, Italy, the south of France. There are places in Spain that are astonishing. But here . . . 25 miles and you go up on Mount Tam to see the fog come in; 25 miles the other direction and you're somewhere else that takes your breath away. There's no question this is where I want to live. Never has been.

Robin Williams

 

I've actually gone to the zoo and had monkeys shout to me from their cages, "I'm in here when you're walking around like that?"

Robin Williams

 

Cricket is basically baseball on valium.

Robin Williams

 American Comedian Baseball Famous Baseball Funny Sports