More - Homer Simpson Quotes

Here's to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Homer Simpson

 Alcohol And Alcoholism

Unlike most of you, I am not a nut.

Homer Simpson

 

Olive oil ... asparagus ... if your mother wasn't so fancy, we could shop at the gas station like normal people.

Homer Simpson

 Mother

I'm not telling you, 'Never eat a hamburger.' Just eat the good ones with real beef, you know, like the ones from that mom-and-pop diner down the street, ... And it's so good that when you take a bite out of that burger, you just know somewhere in the world a vegan is crying.

Homer Simpson

 

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to squeeze in 8 hours of TV a day.

Homer Simpson

 

Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything. 14% of people know that.

Homer Simpson

 People

[at prof. Frink's yard sale]Three dollars and it only transports matter?!

Homer Simpson

 

(Lisa) "I'm going to become a vegetarian" (Homer) "Does that mean you're not going to eat any pork?" "Yes" "Bacon?" "Yes Dad" Ham?" "Dad all those meats come from the same animal" "Right Lisa, some wonderful, magical animal!"

Homer Simpson

 

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

Homer Simpson

 Understanding

Owww look at me Marge, I'm making people Happy! I'm the magical man, from Happy Land, who lives in a gumdrop house on Lolly Pop Lane!!!!...... By the way I was being sarcastic...

Homer Simpson

 Land