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More - Johnny Carson Quotes

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing. - Johnny Carson Quotes

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

American Comedian Funny

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself. - Johnny Carson Quotes

I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.

American Comedian Death Funny

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?'' - Johnny Carson Quotes

Talent alone won't make you a success. Neither will being in the right place at the right time, unless you are ready. The most important question is: 'Are your ready?''

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners. - Johnny Carson Quotes

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.

American Comedian Funny

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved. - Johnny Carson Quotes

New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved.

American Comedian Funny

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money - Johnny Carson Quotes

The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas. - Johnny Carson Quotes

Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.

American Comedian Christmas Funny

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president. - Johnny Carson Quotes

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn't grow up can be vice president.

American Comedian Democracy Funny

He couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner - Johnny Carson Quotes

He couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner

When turkeys mate they think of swans. - Johnny Carson Quotes

When turkeys mate they think of swans.

American Comedian Funny

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