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More - George Burns Quotes

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible. - George Burns Quotes

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.

American Comedian Beginning Funny Quote of the Day

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth. - George Burns Quotes

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

American Comedian Funny

Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxi cabs and cutting hair - George Burns Quotes

Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxi cabs and cutting hair

When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile. - George Burns Quotes

When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday. - George Burns Quotes

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.

Bores And Boredom

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it. - George Burns Quotes

If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress and tension. And if you didn't ask me, I'd still have to say it.

American Comedian Funny Longevity

If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm a singer. - George Burns Quotes

If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm a singer.

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age. - George Burns Quotes

I would go out with women my age, but there are no women my age.

Age And Aging American Comedian Funny

How can I die? I'm booked. - George Burns Quotes

How can I die? I'm booked.

American Comedian Funny

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere. - George Burns Quotes

Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere.

Age And Aging American Comedian Funny

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