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More - Tommy Cooper Quotes

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.' - Tommy Cooper Quotes

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'

British Comedian Funny

It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in. - Tommy Cooper Quotes

It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.

Funny Quote of the Day

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.' - Tommy Cooper Quotes

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

British Comedian Funny Quote of the Day

So I went to the dentist. He said

So I went to the dentist. He said "Say Aaah." I said "Why?" He said "My dog's died.'

He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library. I thought,

He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library. I thought, "That's a turn-up for the books."

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.' - Tommy Cooper Quotes

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

British Comedian Funny

I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure. - Tommy Cooper Quotes

I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure.

British Comedian Funny Quote of the Day

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off. - Tommy Cooper Quotes

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

British Comedian Funny

A policeman stopped me and said:

A policeman stopped me and said: "Would you please blow into this bag, sir?" I said: "What for, officer?" He said: "My chips are too hot."

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'

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