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More - Carlos Mencia Quotes

I have little compassion for people in trailer parks who refuse tomove after getting tornado warnings. How hard is it for them torelocate? Their house have wheels. - Carlos Mencia Quotes

I have little compassion for people in trailer parks who refuse tomove after getting tornado warnings. How hard is it for them torelocate? Their house have wheels.

God has a sense of humor. If you don't believe me, tomorrow go to wal-mart and just look at people. - Carlos Mencia Quotes

God has a sense of humor. If you don't believe me, tomorrow go to wal-mart and just look at people.

I am a product. . . . I'm a comedian. I'm not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh. I make sense out of ridiculous situations, but in the end, it's all about laughter. It's all about your cheek hurting, your stomach hurting. - Carlos Mencia Quotes

I am a product. . . . I'm a comedian. I'm not curing cancer. In the end, I tell jokes. I make people laugh. I make sense out of ridiculous situations, but in the end, it's all about laughter. It's all about your cheek hurting, your stomach hurting.

You know those pills like Viagra, well they say that if you have an erection for more than 36 hours consult your physician. Well, if you don't know what to do with your boner after 36 hours then you are a DE and your wife doesn't know what to do then she's a DA. You two shouldn't reproduce because then your kid's gonna be like DEDADE. - Carlos Mencia Quotes

You know those pills like Viagra, well they say that if you have an erection for more than 36 hours consult your physician. Well, if you don't know what to do with your boner after 36 hours then you are a DE and your wife doesn't know what to do then she's a DA. You two shouldn't reproduce because then your kid's gonna be like DEDADE.

You're Hispanic. You speak Spanish. You're doing ethnic jokes. Taco Bell is one of your first targets. - Carlos Mencia Quotes

You're Hispanic. You speak Spanish. You're doing ethnic jokes. Taco Bell is one of your first targets.

You want to know the joke he thinks is stolen from him? It's a Taco Bell joke, - Carlos Mencia Quotes

You want to know the joke he thinks is stolen from him? It's a Taco Bell joke,

If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby. - Carlos Mencia Quotes

If you ain't laughing, you ain't living, baby.

I don't have the time to steal other people's material even if I wanted to, ... The reason why these rumors got started is that I don't really contest them because I don't believe they deserve contesting. I really don't. - Carlos Mencia Quotes

I don't have the time to steal other people's material even if I wanted to, ... The reason why these rumors got started is that I don't really contest them because I don't believe they deserve contesting. I really don't.

In all honesty, we don't know what's in the hearts of other men. All I know is that I respect comedy and I know comedy. I would never, ever, ever take somebody else's joke. - Carlos Mencia Quotes

In all honesty, we don't know what's in the hearts of other men. All I know is that I respect comedy and I know comedy. I would never, ever, ever take somebody else's joke.

It's an investment, so to speak. It's that human contest. In five, 10 years, if I wanted to go back and do a theater there, I'd be able to. People would go, 'Yeah, man, he came here. It was awesome,' - Carlos Mencia Quotes

It's an investment, so to speak. It's that human contest. In five, 10 years, if I wanted to go back and do a theater there, I'd be able to. People would go, 'Yeah, man, he came here. It was awesome,'

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